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Week one is finally here. Enjoy and comment! <3

Introduction Show Edit

Voice-over: Hello everyone! All looking forward to Castaways? Well, no one’s going to be introduced until ONE CAT arrives…please welcome your host, MISTLE(CORN)TOE !

(Mistleheart marches onto the stage)

Mistleheart: I told you not to call me Mistle(corn)toe, you ungrateful cow! What a way to begin an entire season.

(no reply)

Mistleheart: (sighs) Hello, I guess, and welcome to -

Cat in the Crowd #1: Shut up, we don't want to listen to you!

Mistleheart: (blasts the cat to the moon) So that’s taken care of. You can pretend that never happened.

(silence)

Mistleheart: Anyway, welcome to CASTAWAYS! 16 housemates enter; only one will win! And yes, this stage is only temporary. We will soon be leaving for the island!

(silence)

Mistleheart: (glaring) Where’s the dramatic music? THERE’S SUPPOSED TO BE DRAMATIC MUSIC!

Producer: Sorry! 

(Dramatic music plays)

Mistleheart: (grumbling) We’re never going to get anything done at this rate. (raises voice) Without further ado, let me introduce to you our first contestant…WILLOWPAW!

(Willowpaw walks onto the stage)

Willowpaw: (spots Mistleheart) Hello, Mistleheart!

Mistleheart: Hello! Listen. When that door opens, you step through and you’ll be in the ship!

Willowpaw: The ship? Door? 

Mistleheart: (points)

Willowpaw: (bares teeth and growls) I’m not going into a Twoleg thing!

Mistleheart: (sighs) It’s like any other den!

Willowpaw: FINE, FINE!

(the door opens, and Willowpaw steps through)


(inside the ship)

Willowpaw: (is entering) Wow. This is huge!

Mistleheart: Yeah, it is. It cost a few trilion dollars to build it, so you better keep it as it is...

Willowpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mistleheart: (wicked laugh) Sorry for startling you.

Willowpaw: (growls) No one ever told me that you could see me from the stage! >:(

Mistleheart: Well yeah, it's not important. I'll introduce the next contestant.

Willowpaw: Please do. I could do with some entertainment, because you're just grumpy.

Mistleheart: I AM NEVER GRUMPY! >:( HOW AM I BEING GRUMPY?


(onstage)

Producer: HURRY MISTLE(CORN)TOE!

Mistleheart: (mauls the producer) Sure. Please welcome our second contestant...MOONPAW!

(Moonpaw walks onto the stage holding a wand)

Moonpaw: Hi, Mistle!

Mistleheart: (stares at the wand suspiciously) Hi. What's that for?

Moonpaw: Magic, what else? Do you want to see?

Mistleheart: Meh, sure, whatever.

Moonpaw: (flourishes magic wand)

(snow begin to fall)

Mistleheart: AHHHHHHHHHHH! SNOW! WE'RE ALL GOING TO FREEZE TO DEATH! D:

Moonpaw: Sorry. (flicks magic wand)

(the snow disappears)

Mistleheart: Thank you. Anyway, when that door opens, step through it, and you'll be in the -

Moonpaw: Ship, yeah, I know already.

(the door opens, and Moonpaw steps through)


(inside the ship)

Willowpaw: (sighs) This sure is taking a long time.

(Moonpaw enters)

Willowpaw: (brightens) Oooh! Hi, Moonpaw!

Moonpaw: Hi, Willowpaw!

Williwpaw: What's that magic wand for?

Moonpaw: (beams) I'm a magician, what else?

Willowpaw: Show me!

Moonpaw: (taps the ship walls with the wand)

(the ship turns into a spacecraft)

Willowpaw: Wow, how did you do that?

Mistleheart: TURN THE SHIP BACK! WE WILL BE SAILING ACROSS THE OCEAN, NOT OUTER SPACE! >:(

Moonpaw: Okay, okay! (taps the walls again)

(the spacecraft turns back into a ship)


(onstage)

Mistleheart: Our third contestant is...WINTERPAW!

(nothing happens)

Mistleheart: (glancing around in annoyance) I said, the third contestant is -

(Winterpaw swings in on a wrecking ball)

Winterpaw: (jumps off wrecking ball)

(the wrecking ball destroys the opposite wall)

Mistleheart: That's going to need a lot of glue to put back together. -_-

Winterpaw: Hi, MISTLESNUFFLES!

Mistleheart: I'm actually fine with that. (shoves Winterpaw through the door)

Producer: Hey!


(inside the ship)

(A huge crash)

Willowpaw: Did I just hear something? It was a very tiny sound, like the squeak of the mouse, but I'm not sure...

Moonpaw: Yes, you did. Revealius!

Willowpaw: What?

Moonpaw: The third contestant is WINTERPAW, and he just destroyed the wall with his wrecking ball.

Willowpaw: What?

Moonpaw: I'm telling the truth!

Willowpaw: What?

Moonpaw: SHUT UP! >:(

(Winterpaw enters)

Willowpaw: Hi, Winter! :D

Winterpaw: Shut up.

Willowpaw: Hurtful! D:

Moonpaw: I hope Winterpaw isn't in my camp...

Winterpaw: WHAT WAS THAT? >:(

Moonpaw: Nothing!


(onstage)

Mistleheart: Poor Willowpaw! D: Winterpaw, you infuriating -

Producer: Mistle(corn)toe, just get on with it!

Mistleheart: (mauls the producer) That never happened. Anyway, let's welcome our fourth contestant, SILVERPAW!

(Silverpaw walks onstage)

Mistleheart: Hi, Silverpaw! How're you doing?

Silverpaw: F-f-fine.

Mistleheart: (ignores Silverpaw's nervousness) So, are you excited to be on Castaways?

Silverpaw: (squeaking) Y-y-yes?

Audience: HURRY UP! THIS IS BORING! DEATH! DEATH!

Mistleheart: (glares at the audience, seeing that Silverpaw has turned a dark shade of green) Don't worry about these idiots, Silverpaw. Anyway, when that door opens step through it and you'll be in the -

Silverpaw: (gasp) D-d-don't say it!

Mistleheart: Say what? Ship? Why -

Silverpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (bolts through the door)


(inside the ship)

Winterpaw: (grumbles) I hate you. I hate this ship. I hate everyone. I hate everything.

Willowpaw: Can you stop?

Winterpaw: STOP WHAT? YOU LITTLE BEAST, EXCUSE ME -

Willowpaw: Stop grumbling, for the love of StarClan!

Winterpaw: You can't stop me! Mini-Jayfeathers and Mini-Winters! Attack!

Mini-Jayfeathers and Mini-Winters: (swarm around Willowpaw)

Willowpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Moonpaw: (enters the room) So I just go to the dirtplace, and this happens?

(Silverpaw bolts into the ship)

Silverpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Winterpaw: Welcome to the ship -

Silverpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! (bolts)

Winterpaw: - of weirdos.


(onstage)

Mistleheart: How convenient.

Producer: Mistleheart...

Mistleheart: ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! Please welcome the next contestant..WILLOWLIGHT!

(Willowlight bounces onstage on a pogo stick)

Willowlight: HI, MISTLE(CORN)TOE!

Mistleheart: Don't make me come over and maul you...

Willowlight: TOO BAD, YOU CAN'T DEFEAT THE RULER OF GEESE!

Mistleheart: Why not?

Wollow: I'M INSANE! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Mistleheart: (edges away) Okay. Sure.

Wollow: A DOOR! THE LAND OF PINK FLUFFY UNICORNS ON RAINBOWS! (dashes through the door)

Mistleheart: Glad that's over.


(inside the ship)

(Willowlight dashes into the room)

Willowlight: I AM THE SQUIRREL QUEEN OF SQUIRRELS!

Willowpaw: Hello, other Willow!

Wollow: (growls) HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY NAME! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Winterpaw: She's (bleep)ing insane!

Mistleheart: (from the stage) Please don't.

Winterpaw: (sticks out tongue)

Willowlight: (turns into an airplane and zooms toward Willowpaw)

Willowpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HELP ME!

Moonpaw: (flourishes the wand) Expello -

Wollow: (bites the wand in half while trampling Moonpaw) MWAHAHAHAHA! MESS WITH ME NOT!

Moonpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUU! MY WAND! D:


(onstage)

Mistleheart: If she holds a funeral for the wand, I will personally maul her.

Audience: (cheers)

Mistleheart: Hmmm, such a violent audience. Anyhow, the next contestant will be LAURELPAW!

(Laurelpaw walks onstage)

Laurelpaw: RESPECT THE CANNED CHEESE!

Mistleheart: No.

Laurelpaw: RESPECT THE CANNED CHEESE?

Mistleheart: No!

Producer: Tell her three times.

Mistleheart: You (bleep)ing...

Laurelpaw: RESPECT THE CANNED CHEESE?

Mistleheart: Fine! But not for long... >:)

(the door opens)

Mistleheart: Go inside the ship.

Laurelpaw: (hisses) No! It's a Twoleg den!

Mistleheart: It has canned cheese inside it!

Laurelpaw: Oooh! (steps through the doorway)


(inside the ship)

(Laurelpaw is entering)

Laurelpaw: (to Winterpaw) RESPECT THE CANNED CHEESE!

Winterpaw: No.

Laurelpaw: Respect the canned cheese?

Winterpaw: No.

Laurelpaw: Respect the canned cheese?

Winterpaw: NO! HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO ASK?

Laurelpaw: But -

Willowlight: COTTON CANDY UP YOUR NOSE!

Moonpaw: Welcome to the wandless ship... (sniffs)

Silverpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (bolts)

Laurelpaw: Okaaaaaay.

(a pie lands in her face)

Willowlight: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!


(onstage)

Mistleheart: And now there's going to be a food fight. (sighs) Please welcome our next contestant...ICEFLOWER!

(Iceflower walks onstage)

Mistleheart: Hi!

Iceflower: Oooh, hi!

Mistleheart: Fun fact, you're the first warrior in this show. To be specific, the first senior warrior.

Iceflower: I am? So I'm special? WOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Mistleheart: I was not hoping for that reaction. Anyway, when that door opens, you steo through and you'll be in the ship!

Iceflower: (jumps back) A ship? But I'm seasick! And I'm scared of water!

Mistleheart: You are? But it says nowhere in your application form.

Iceflower: Well that would have been embarrassing, right?

Mistleheart: I don't understand. You just announced it in front of our entire audience.

Iceflower: (gasps) Did I? I'd better ruuuuuuuuuuuuuun!

(the door opens, and Iceflower bounds through)


(inside the ship)

Winterpaw: (hurls potatoes at Willowlight) Ugh, I hate everything. This show is so stupid. So are we staying stuck here forever?

Mistleheart: (from the stage) Yes.

Willowlight: (empties a bowl of boiling soup on Winterpaw) MWAHAHAHAHA! I AM THE QUEEN OF THE FOOD FIGHT!

Winterpaw: (shrieks)

Silverpaw: (to Moonpaw) C-c-can't you take her insanity away?

Willowlight: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I WILL NOT LET YOU TAKE MY INSANITY AWAY! (mauls Moonpaw)

Moonpaw: I DIDN'T SAY YES! D:

(a pie smashes into Laurelpaw's face from Willowpaw's direciton)

Laurelpaw: (yelps) WHO DARED DO THIS?

Willowpaw: WASN'T ME!

Laurelpaw: Then who else could it have been? You're the only suspect!

(Laurelpaw chases Willowpaw around the room with a bottle of ketchup)

Winterpaw: Hehe, this is fun... (sits back and relaxes)

Wollow: MASTER, DO YOU WISH FOR TEA? OR POOP?

Winterpaw: -_-

(Iceflower enters)

Iceflower: Hey there!

Winterpaw: (turns around)

(Iceflower's eyes wander around the room, stopping on Winterpaw)

Iceflower: Oh...

Laurelpaw: OOOOOOOOOH! WINTERPAW AND ICEFLOWER, SITTING IN A TREE!

Winterpaw: SHUT UP BEFORE I MAUL YOU!

Iceflower: Okay. (leaves)

Winterpaw: But...


(onstage)

Mistleheart: That was FUNNY! XD

Producer: Mistle(corn)toe -

Mistleheart: (mauls the producer) Now, let's welcome contestant number eight...BREEZE THAT GLIDES THROUGH SUMMER!

(Breeze that Glides Through Summer walks onstage)

Breeze that Glides Through Summer: THEO JAMES!

(silence)

Breezey: (begins to shake Mistleheart) WHERE IS THEO JAMES?

Mistleheart: STOP SHAKING ME! >:( He's not here!

Breezey: OKAY, THEN WHERE IS TOPAZ?

Mistleheart: Who?

Breezey: MAH FISH!

Mistleheart: Not here.

Breezey: PIE?

Mistleheart: (gives Breezey a truckload of pies) Here you go. Now, when that door opens -

(the door opens)

Breezey: (steps through the doorway and disappears) I HAVE PIES!

Mistleheart: - step through it.


(inside the ship)

Winterpaw: MY LOVE! COME BACK!

All contestants but Winterpaw, Willowlight, and Iceflower: ...

Willowlight: BLUE RUBBER DUCKS!

Iceflower: (hides behind a curtain)

(Breezey enters, carrying her infinite supply of pie)

Laurelpaw: Hi Breezey!

Willowpaw: Hi Breezey!

Willowlight: HI THE BREEZEY BREEZE!

Silverpaw: Hi Breezey!

Iceflower: Hi Breezey!

Winterpaw: (gasps) I heard her say something! :D

Breezey: OMSC, what's going on here?

Willowpaw: (sighs) See for yourself.

Winterpaw: WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY WICY!

Moonpaw: (sighs) Breezey, welcome to the ship, and -

Silverpaw: (bolts) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Breezey: MY PIES! MY PRECIOUS, BEAUTIFUL, PIE-FLAVORED PIES! :D

Mistleheart: 'Cause you guys are all bored, feel free play some kind of crazy death game with each other.

Wollow: BOUNCE A POUNCE!

Mistleheart: Hmmm, interesting batch of contestants. Well, we'll be leaving soon!

Iceflower: Oh, no! I'm seasick! D:

Winterpaw: What the (bleep).

Mistleheart: Don't say that again.

Winterpaw: Oh (bleep) you.

Laurelpaw: ...I'm feeling bad for us right now.


(onstage)

Mistleheart: After a very eventful moment, it's time to introduce our ninth contestant...WAVEPAW!

(Wavepaw walks onstage, singing)

Wavepaw: OHHHHHHHH BEAUTIFUL, FOR SPACIOUS SKIIIIIIES, FOOOR -

Mistleheart: (ignores singing) Let's get on with it. When that door opens, step through it, and you'll be in the ship.

Wavepaw: (glares) How dare you interupt my wonderful singing? OHHHHHHH BEAUTIFUL, FOR -

Mistleheart: Excuse me.

Wavepaw: - SPACIOUS SKIIIIIES, FOOOOOOR AMBER -

Mistleheart: I have a question for you.

Wavepaw: NOT AGAIN! Eh well, go ahead.

Mistleheart: Are you excited to be in Castaways? Or did someone force you to come?

Wavepaw: Yeah, I was forced to come.

Mistleheart: I extremely sorry. Not.

(the door opens)

Mistleheart: That's your cue.

(Wavepaw steps through)

(inside the ship)

(Wavepaw is entering)

Wavepaw: (screaming at the top of her lungs) OOOOOOOOOOH BEAUTIFUL, FOOOOR SPACIOUS SKIIIIES, FOOOOOR AMBER WAVES OF GRAIN!

All contestants but Wollow: MY POOR EARS! D:

Wollow: ONIONS ARE LOVELY, EXCEPT FOR WHEN THEY TASTE LIKE ONIONS!

Wavepaw: Why does no one want to listen to my singing? :(

Winterpaw: One, that song is from three centuries ago. Two -

Moonpaw: Whyever, welcome to the ship! :D

Silverpaw: (hides in the dirtplace) AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Wavepaw: ...

Laurelpaw: Don't ask.

Iceflower: Hey, normal cat over here!

Wavepaw: Icy! :D

Winterpaw: (hisses) ARE YOU TRYING TO STEAL MY LOVE?

(the food fight begins again)

Wollow: I WILL DOMINATE!

Silverpaw: (runs into the room, only to be hit by a stray pie)

Breezey: Poor pie!

Laurelpaw: Hehe. Although pie isn't so bad, but that was funny.

Moonpaw and Willowpaw: It was mean. :/

Laurelpaw: (gleefully) No one cares! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Mistleheart: Are you turning into a Willowlight? -_-

Willowlight: (hurls pie) WINTER OF THE ICEWINGS! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Winterpaw ducks)

Breezey: (chases pie) MAH PIE! :D

(the pie ricochets off a wall and smashes into Breezey's face)

Breezey: OWWWWW!


(onstage)

Mistleheart: (dies laughing) HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

Producer: I. WILL. KILL. YOU. PERSONALLY.

Mistleheart: (mauls the producer) That's taken care of.

Producer: (returns)

Mistleheart: (blasts the producer to the moon) Finished. Anyway, our next contestant is...FLOWERSTREAM!

(no response)

(a piano falls down on Mistleheart)

Flowerstream: (flaps onto the stage) HELLO!

Mistleheart: UGH! PRODUCER, GET THIS PIANO OFF ME!

Producer: (from the moon) Can't we leave it like that?

Mistleheart: Why?

Producer: It looks good for decoration. And it keeps you where you can't blast me to the moon.

Mistleheart: You're already there, so I guess it doesn't matter. NOW GET THIS (BLEEP)ING THING OFF ME!

Producer: Meh, fine.

(the piano vanishes)

Mistleheart: (to Flowerstream) Why do you have wings? Are you a bird?

Flowerstream: They're fake.

Mistleheart: Oh. Well, when that door opens -

Flowerstream: I know. Do you think I haven't watched the other contestants being announced? Obviously yes. Good day sir.

(the door opens, and Flowerstream steps through)

Mistleheart: (grumpily) I'm supposed to be the grumpy one.


(inside the ship)

(chaos)

Winterpaw: (grabs Wavepaw's saxophone and smashes it in Willowpaw's face)

Iceflower: Evil! D:

Laurelpaw: (grabs a pie and aims at Winterpaw's face)

Moonpaw: (uses magical powers to levitate Laurelpaw and hurl her at Silverpaw)

Silverpaw: H-h-hey!

(Laurelpaw crashes headfirst into Silverpaw and they tumble into the dirtplace)

Winterpaw: (slams the door and locks both apprentices in the dirtplace) Two down!

Willowlight: I WILL DEFEAT THE QUEEN OF STRAWBERRY SHAKESPEARE! (blasts Iceflower to the moon)

Iceflower: AHHHHHHHHHHH! (voice fades)

Winterpaw: (charges at Willowlight) I WILL MAUL YOU!

Willowlight: MWAHAHAHAHA!

Wavepaw: (pads into the room) Hey, where's my saxophone? (her eyes narrow as she stares at the smashed saxophone) WHO. DARED?

Laurelpaw: Winterpaw did!

Wavepaw: Turns to glare at Winterpaw.

Willowlight: (blasts Winterpaw to the moon)

Winterpaw: I HATE THIS SHIP! (voice fades)

Silverpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! (runs in frantic circles, still locked inside the dirtplace)

Willowlight: YOU HAVE NOT SEEN MY SECRET WEAPON!

Willowpaw: Oh no.

Willowlight: GEESE! ATTACK!

(the Goose Army swarms into the room, honking and causing chaos)

(Flowerstream enters)

Flowerstream: What's all the racket? Did Winterpaw set off a bomb? If he did -

Wavepaw: (interrupts) MY SAXOPHONE WAS INNOCENT, IT DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE! I WILL AVENGE YOU. DON'T WORRY!

Flowerstream: ...remind me why I'm here?

(a goose attacks Flowerstream)


(on the moon)

Iceflower: (lands headfirst) AHHHHHHHHHH!

Winterpaw: (lands headfirst on Iceflower) AHHHHHHHHHH!

(Iceflower scrambles away)

Winterpaw: Sorry.

Iceflower: (glares)

Producer: Hello. I see you've joined me on our exciting vacation here. (sighs)

Winterpaw: (blasts the producer back to Earth) HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT US? >:( GET OUT!

Producer: (voice fading) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


(onstage)

Mistleheart: I wonder what they're doing there...

(The producer lands headfirst on the stage)

Mistleheart: -_- Anyway, our next contestant is GOLDENPAW!

(Goldenpaw walks onstage)

Goldenpaw: Hello! Hi hi hi! Mistleheart! How are you doing? It's such a nice day!

Mistleheart: Mmmmm. (bows)

Goldenpaw: I'm going to win this show! Cheers for Goldenpaw! WOOOOO! (throws confetti into the air)

Mistleheart: I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I can tell you that you're underestimating the -

Goldenpaw: Well, I'm optimistic! Is that a good thing? Yes it is.

Mistleheart: Not necessarily.

Goldenpaw: Well, I'm still going to win this show. Who are the other contestants? Well, whoever they are, they're from BlogClan, which is good enough!

Mistleheart: I see. Well, when that door opens, step through it and you'll be in the ship!

Goldenpaw: A ship? Great! I've always wanted to be in a ship! Awesome!

Mistleheart: Nice. (sighs)

(the door opens, and Goldenpaw steps through)


(inside the ship)

(Goldenpaw is entering)

Goldenpaw: Hello! It's great here! I've been having such a good time already. Wow, it really is a ship! And there's a TV! Cool!

Flowerstream: HELP ME!

(Flowerstream jabs a newspaper at the goose pecking her)

Goldenpaw: This looks so fun! :D

Willowlight; You are the goldenest golden to ever golden!

Goldenpaw: I know! I'm going to win this show!

Winterpaw: (from the moon) EXCUSE ME, I AM THE HOT GUY HERE, AND I WILL WIN THIS SHOW.

Goldenpaw: (looks up) Winterpaw?

Winterpaw: (grumpily) OF COURSE WINTERPAW!

Laurelpaw: Don't mind him, he just got dumped on the moon with his wife.

Iceflower: Wait what?

Willowlight: I SHIP -

Silverpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (crashes into a wall and faints)

Goldenpaw: This place is wonderful!

Mistleheart: Winterpaw, I'm sending our astronaut to bring you and Iceflower back.

Winterpaw: Wait, no. I like it up here.

Iceflower: (at the same time) What a relief. (edges away from Winterpaw)

Wavepaw: Forget it! A DEFENSELESS SAXOPHONE HAS BEEN MURDERED! WE MUST AVENGE IT! (shakes paw at the ceiling)

Goldenpaw: Not the poor, defenseless - ah well, I'll get you another one!

Wavepaw: BUT THERE IS ONLY ONE SAXOPHONE LIKE MINE!

Goldenpaw: This new one will be better!

Wavepaw: WHO CARES?


(onstage)

Mistleheart: Alright, let's welcome our final, twelfth contestant...SUNDERP!

(Sundance stalks menacingly onstage)

Sundance: Now, what exactly did you call me?

Mistleheart: (innocently) Sundance.

Sundance: (menacingly) Oh, sure.

Mistleheart: (edges backward) Okay, okay, sorry!

Sundance: (calmly) Thank you.

Mistleheart: Getting back on track, when that door opens, step through and you'll be in the ship.

Sundance: Yes, the ship.

(the door opens, and Sundance steps through)

Mistleheart: Well, that's over. We will be leaving shortly. Don't forget to tune in at the Pairings, geese.

Audience: (cheers)

The Pairings Edit

(The next morning, it begins to storm. The ship is already sailing.)

Mistleheart: Hello, hello, what a lovely day and whatnot.

(lightning strikes the ship and sets it on fire)

Mistleheart: I see we're all on our daily routines.

Moonpaw: Hey, Mistleheart, I have a new wand!

(Moonpaw flourishes her wand, and the fire disappears)

Mistleheart: Thanks, Moonpaw.


(an hour later)

Mistleheart: WAKE UP EVERYONE! IT'S TIME FOR THE PAIRINGS!

Wavepaw: Who cares? MY SAXOPHONE HAS BEEN MURDERED! >:(

Winterpaw: (shrugs)

Mistleheart: Wavepaw, don't worry. Goldenpaw will get you another saxophone. (gives Goldenpaw an intimidating glare)

Goldenpaw: It's Goldenfawn now.

Wavepaw: (interrupts) I'm Wavesplash now, thank you very much. I'm a senior warrior.

Mistleheart: *sighs* Congratulations.

Laurelpaw: What are pairings?

Mistleheart: The Pairings are where you decide who your one ally will be. Your camp partner.

Sundance: (flexes her claws) I don't need a camp partner. I would ditch them as soon as I could.

Winterpaw: I'd better be with Iceflower.

Iceflower: (edges away from Winterpaw) I'd better not!

Winterpaw: (evil glint in his eye) You can't escape me! (chases Iceflower around the room)

Mistleheart: If you're finished, we're about to begin the Pairings.

(Mistleheart noticed that Willowpaw and Willowlight are both not present)

Mistleheart: GET ON THE SHIP DECK!

Silverpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (bolts)

Mistleheart: Hey, come back!

Willowlight: FLUFFY PINK BUNNIES!

Willowpaw: I'm coming! (hurries onto the deck carrying a huge knapsack)

Mislteheart: What is that?

(Willowpaw trips over her tail and everything spills out of the knapsack onto the deck)

Willowpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! You will not see this!

Mistleheart: (walks over)

(Willowpaw crams everything back into her knapsack, snatches it up, and glares at Mistleheart)

Mistleheart: (edges back) Alright, let's begin.

Willowlight: RAINBOW CLOUDS ARE ON YOUR HEAD! (flicks her tail at Winterpaw)

Winterpaw: (hisses back)

Mistleheart: (flicks her tail at a cauldron) In this cauldron -

(Before she can finish, the cauldron explodes, showering everyone with boiling water.)

All contestants but Willowlight and Sundance: AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Sundance: (quietly) Who. Did. This?

Mistleheart: You're not as menacing as usual, considering that you're steaming.

Willowlight: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FOUR-LEAF CLOVERS!

Mistleheart: (flicks her tail at a different cauldron) In this cauldron, there are twelve slips of paper, each with a contestant's name on it. I will draw two names from the cauldron, and those contestants are camp partners.

Sundance: (snorts)

Goldenpaw: Cool! Camp partners, that's awesome. I wonder who I'll be with?

Winterpaw: SHUT UP BEFORE I BLAST YOU TO THE MOON!

(Mistleheart walks over to the cauldron and draws out two names)

Mistleheart: WILLOWPAW AND WILLOWLIGHT!

Willowpaw: WHY? D:

Willowlight: YOU ARE A WILLOW TREE!

Mistleheart: Too bad, Willowpaw, you're stuck with this lunatic.

Willowlight: (mauls Mistleheart) I'M NOT A LUNATIC! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'M INSANE!

Willowpaw: (swings the knapsack at Willowlight)

Willowlight: (mauls Willowpaw and shreds the knapsack) RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!


(Mistleheart draws out two more names)

Mistleheart: WINTERPAW AND ICEFLOWER!

Winterpaw: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Iceflower: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Winterpaw: (menacingly glares at Iceflower) Why no?

Iceflower: I mean - yay?

Winterpaw: (curls his tail over his paws) Good. (yells at the ceiling) MY DREAMS HAVE BEEN FULFILLED!

Willowlight: YOUR DREAMS ARE OF DANCING CARROTS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


(Mistleheart draws out two more names)

Mistleheart: SUNDANCE AND LAURELPAW!

Sundance: (stares at Laurelpaw)

Laurelpaw: (edges back) I don't like that stare...

Sundance: (continues staring unblinkingly)

Laurelpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHH! (bolts)

Silverpaw: (gazes after Laurelpaw) W-w-wasn't that my line?

Mistleheart: Ship.

Silverpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! (bolts)


(Mistleheart draws out two more names)

Mistleheart: WAVESPLASH AND FLOWERSTREAM!

Wavesplash: NO! MY CAMP PARTNER WILL BE MY SAXOPHONE! Oh wait. Winterpaw destroyed it.

(Wavesplash blasts Winterpaw to the moon)

Winterpaw: I HATE YOU! (voice fading)

Iceflower: (to Wavesplash) Thank you. Can I hug you?

Wavesplash: NO!

Flowerstream: (sarcastically) So nice of you. (pauses) I suppose I'm stuck with her.

Wavesplash: That's rude, considering my singing skills and my saxophone.

(Silence)

Wavesplash: Which Winterpaw destroyed. Conveniently.


(Mistleheart draws two more slips of paper)

Mistleheart: GOLDENFAWN AND MOONPAW!

Goldenfawn: Sure! I'm alright with being with Moonpaw. Your spells could be useful on the Island! We'll totally beat them, won't we?

Winterpaw: (interjects from the moon) Aren't Moonpaw's spells considered cheating? She could magick the Island so that it suits her wishes.

Moonpaw: I could.

Winterpaw: (continues) And she could jinx the show so that she'll always win.

Moonpaw: That I cannot do, but I wish I could.

Mistleheart: There are no rules, sorry.

Winterpaw: STUPID.

Sundance: So I can stab you now, and there won't be consequences?

WILLOWLIGHT: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BANANA BANDANA!

Silverpaw: (glances nervously at Mistleheart) S-s-so I'm with B-Breezey?

Mistleheart: Yup.

Breezey: (shakes Silverpaw) IS TOPAZ ON THIS SHIP?

Silverpaw: (punches Breezey in the face and flees) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Silverpaw skids into the boiling water spilled across the deck and falls on her face)

Mistleheart: (is struggling not to laugh)

Winterpaw: And I'm still having a wonderful vacation on the moon. MWAHAHAHAHAHA! TALE THAT, WAVESPLASH!

Mistleheart: Producer, can you call our astronauts? Winterpaw needs to participate whether he likes it or not. >:)

Winterpaw: NUUUUUUUUUU!


(onstage)

Producer: Sure, Mistle(corn)toe.

Mistleheart: I WOULD MAUL YOU IF YOU WERE ON THIS SHIP! >:(

Silverpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (trips over her tail and falls over the side of the ship)

Laurelpaw: CAT OVERBOARD! CAT OVERBOARD! >:D


(an hour later)

Winterpaw: (crashes onto the deck) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Flowerstream: Mr. Grumpy, where did you come from?

Winterpaw: I AM NEVER GRUMPY! >:( I HATE THIS!

Laurelpaw: (awestruck) Look at all that smoke you left behind.

Winterpaw: Your astronauts should be fired. Hazelpaw tossed me out of the rocket and never apologized! >:(

Silverpaw: (teeth chatters) S-s-stop complaining! You aren't the only one s-suffering.

Winterpaw: I'm suffering because of you. 

Mistleheart: (quickly intervenes) And this is the end of the Pairings! Don't forget to tune in on the Weekly Show, Challenge, and Disqualification! (wicked laugh)

Goldenfawn: YAAAAAAAAY! :D


(onstage) 

Audience: (cheers)

Cat in the Crowd #1: NOW LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!

(The audience tramples the Producer as they rush out the doors)

The Daily ShowEdit

Mistleheart: We've arrived at the Island, and it's time for our Daily Show. As the contestants settle themselves in, there's rivalry for territory.  



(the camera zooms in to show Willowlight and Willowpaw)

Willowpaw: (flicks her tail at a circle of boulders) This would be a nice camp, don't you think, Willowlight?

Willowlight: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

Willowpaw: (jabs at the nearest boulder) Thanks for the feedback - AHHHHHHHHHH!

(a rattlesnake slithers into the blinding sunlight from beneath the boulder)

Willowpaw: (runs) RUN! D: 

Willowlight: (pats the rattlesnake on the head) NICE SNAKEY! 

(the snake slithers onto Willowlight's head and perches there, rattling its rattle)

Willowlight: RATTLE YOUR RATTLING RATTLE!

Willowpaw: o . O 


(the camera zooms in to show Winterpaw and Iceflower)

Iceflower: (flicks her tail at the cluster of boulders) Hey, how about this clearing? 

Winterpaw: (bows) Whatever you say.

Iceflower: (cringes) Right.

(Iceflower circles the boulders, followed by Winterpaw)

Winterpaw: What are we doing again? 

Iceflower: (stops and slinks through a narrow crack between two boulders) 

Winterpaw: Iceflower? Where are you?



(inside the circle of boulders) 

Willowpaw: Intruder! Intruder! >:( This is our camp!

Iceflower: (protests) I didn't know! 

Willowlight: (produces the sound of blaring sirens) 

(the rattlesnake slithers off Willowlight's head and onto the ground)

Iceflower: (steps back and brandishes a branch) Don't bite me!

(the rattlesnake slithers toward Iceflower, hissing)

Iceflower: AHHHHHH! Sorry, sorry! (flees)


(the camera zooms in to show Wavesplash and Flowerstream)

Wavesplash: (screaming) OH SAY CAN YOU SEE - 

Flowerstream: Stop! My ears are about to explode!

Wavesplash: Hey! (punches Flowerstream)

Flowerstream: Shut up! (punches Wavesplash)

Wavesplash: NO ONE DARES TELL ME TO SHUT UP! (punches Flowerstream)

Flowerstream: SHUT UP THEN! (punches Wavesplash)

Wavesplash: STOP PUNCHING ME! (punches Flowerstream)

Flowerstream: FINE! (tackles Wavesplash instead)

(Wavesplash disappears)

Flowerstream: (steps forward) Whaaaaat?

(Flowerstream disappears)

Waveplash: (squeakily) Hello there. It might seem that two contestants built a trap for us. They must have disguised it moss and tree bark.

Flowerstream: You idiot!

Wavesplash: You were the one who tackled me! (punches Flowerstream)

Flowerstream: And you started the punching! (punches Wavesplash)

Wavesplash: You didn't have to punch back! (punches Flowerstream)

Flowerstream: Stop punching, then! (punches Wavesplash)

Wavesplash: (screaming) OH, SAY CAN YOU SEE! BY THE DAWNS EARLY LIGHT!

Flowerstream: (rolls around clutching her ears) AHHHHHHHHHHH! 

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