Deception Of Stars is RaggedOak's dark, creepy Halloween fiction/contest entry. So yeah, please comment and enjoy.
(Warning: contains sucide type stuff, so if youre sensitive to that kind of stuff, be warned)
Deception of Stars Edit
Who fools me? Who blinds my eyes?
Wherever They are going, to the training hollow, to hunt, to share tongues, it doesn't matter,
I’m not allowed.
I take the fresh kill back, I train alone, I wash myself.
My heart screams for, one, someone, anyone, to look back and see me
Once, just once
But I know no one will.
How am I so alone, amongst so many cats?
How am I so lost?
My mother and mentor, she asks if I am well, then wanders off, her clan duties make her a busy cat,
Too busy, too busy for me.
“I'm Pinewhistle's daughter though” a proud voice then says inside me. “I will work my own problems out, and be strong, like her.”
So I make Star.
And we play.
I rescue Star, Star rescues me, and sometimes we both save the whole clan.
Over and over again
Dream after dream, story after story
Star is my best friend, a tom who loves me and a leader who takes me under her wing.
She is anyone.
She is the best cat I know.
They ignore me, They let me fall.
But Star catches me,
And takes me to her world, her wonderland.
A land where I am not silenced.
I go there, again and again
And suddenly, They, the old world, grows darker, colder.
It casts me out farther, rejects me.
I now never feel that scream for someone to look back and see me,
Instead I can not wait for them to leave.
I want to stay lost, alone.
Stars world, it takes the pain away from being alone
It makes the silence fun.
It turns the shadows into shining stars
And I come back to reach for them, again and again.
I never seem to reach those stars
But I dread having to return to the real world, the world full of pain, every day
I don't want to go back again, no I don't want to go back
I wish no longer to control my dreams.
I want to be like Star
I want to be free, free of Them
And my dreams, they must become what they promise to me.
My dreams promise to keep me, never to abandon me.
I want to reach those dreams, those stars who taunt me from across the sky
I want to fulfill those stories and dreams
One night I decide,
I can no longer live between the two worlds.
They, are now the world of the unreal,
They abandoned me, and treated me unjustly
And so I must leave Them
My senses are a deception
The pain is a deception.
They are a deception.
It is only the world of ideas, the wonderland of dreams that is real.
It has to be.
I’m sure, and so is Star.
“They are a deception”, she tells me, “all you have to do is will yourself out of this world and into mine”
She is right I know
I will walk up to the sky, and then walk right past it
And there, waiting for me, will be Star, and all our wonderful dreams.
I will not be alone. I will not be silenced. I will not have to return to Them.
I run out into the leafbare forest, to a place Star shows me.
It is a strange place, because here the sky meets the sky, and the stars dance like white flickering flames across it.
I know what I must do and that It has to be done.
I see Star, she waves and calls to me from across the starlit expanse.
I am not afraid.
Determinedly I take a step into the sky.
My paw feels terribly icily cold but I know my senses deceive me as usual.
I see swirling, dancing stars above and below me.
Then pain, stabbing pain, and darkness,
Plunging, choking darkness.
Suddenly all the stars go out at once.
Then I realize,
I have been such a fool.
Who fools me? Who blinds my eyes?
I fool myself.
There was no monster, there was no Star, there was only me.
Me all alone.
I choke on Icy tears who have been carelessly flung from an already chilled heart.
I am drowning.
And my dreams are helpless as I fall into nothing.
I am abandoned into death.
And I feel no more,
It's so dark here
No it's not even dark
It’s just empty.
I am empty.
Empty because Starclan gave me my wish
I am like Star now
Just as I wanted...
I am nothing
I am the dream you saw in the corner of your eyes
And when you turned to see it,
It was nothing
I am the Star that so many cats look up to see
One cat sees it as a wish
One cat sees it as a long gone loved one
One cat sees it as a story
And another sees it as a dream
To Them I am anything
But in the end, I remain nothing, a cold unreachable star
Unreachable evan to myself now
A star, hidden in every cat's mind
I am deception, I am nothing
And nothing cannot be alone.